“Then, there are the fripperies; could we please agree to a moratorium on masks, cutaway leather lingerie, and other bondage-flavored evening garb? This kind of thing was about as arousing as a golfer’s knitwear when Kubrick dragged it into “Eyes Wide Shut,” and it still strikes me as the asexual’s idea of what sex is meant to look like—hot, robotic, and vaguely European, as if Victoria’s Secret had been bought out by a company of Freemasons.”
– From a New Yorker review of whatever Sleeping Beauty movie came out in December 2011
“Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.”
– Steve Martin, Born Standing Up
DIANE ARBUS (1923-1971)
A castle in Disneyland, Cal. 1962
art diablo style
starry starry night
It’s hard to say that there’s anything “good” about grieving, but it’s the only word I have to say I’m strangely glad that it’s a universal experience. I didn’t have to explain what I was feeling or why I wanted to be alone or felt like I was walking on eggshells in my thoughts, it was understood.
But can I be honest and say that understanding was often quite frustrating in a way? Because this was the first time a death has really hit me hard. There were others but I was either too young, the deaths were too remote or, in one or two cases, they came with a degree of relief. The suffering was over, at least. It wasn’t pretty but…
So all of this was a weird kind of revelation for me. It was new and uncomfortable and occasionally as I was trying to understand what the hell was going on, I’d find out that this was a known event. I didn’t want the world to stop for my misery, but in a way it felt like hacking my way through the rainforest to find the source of the Amazon only to find a five-star resort there.
I’m grateful for it, though. I needed that certainty a lot of the time.
And now I feel like I’m through the worst of the malaise and grey. I was honestly relieved to realize that the reason I was feeling ornery this morning was simply because I’d slept badly last night for a change.
I’m making plans now. I’ve got a shoot next weekend, an audition this weekend and I’m contemplating whatever the hell it is I want to do next. Because I really want to do something, just as a way to figure out what my thing is.
Nobody tell ms-somnambulist we made violet today. She’ll start getting ideas….
wait… this would be a bad thing… why?
Could it be? Is spring coming to Seattle? Well either way, we must welcome it with open arms… and ill intent.
Tom Lehrer, singing about extreme ornithology, introduced by some hack named Stephen Sondheim. Whoever he is…
[I kid, I kid!]
lock under glass